School Bullying - Complete Parent Action Guide

⚠️ If Your Child Is Being Bullied: You are your child’s most important advocate. This guide provides proven strategies to protect your child, work effectively with schools, and know your legal rights in Australia.

🚨 Australian Bullying Statistics - The Reality

Current Data (2024-2025)

• 27% of students (Year 4-9) report being bullied every few weeks or more
• 32% of Year 5 and 29% of Year 8 students experience frequent bullying
• 84% of students bullied online also face in-person bullying
• 15% of young Australians received threats or abuse online in the last 6 months

Types of Bullying by Frequency:

1. Verbal bullying (71%) - name-calling, threats, insults
2. Social bullying (61%) - exclusion, spreading rumors, public humiliation
3. Cyberbullying (37%) - online harassment, sharing embarrassing content
4. Physical bullying (22%) - hitting, pushing, damaging property

Gender differences: Cyberbullying affects 40% of females vs 30% of males

🔍 Recognizing the Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

Physical Signs

• Unexplained injuries: bruises, scratches, torn clothing
• Damaged belongings: books, electronics, clothes destroyed
• Physical complaints: headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping
• Changes in eating: loss of appetite or eating too much
• Frequent illness: real symptoms from stress

Behavioral Changes

• School avoidance: refusing to go, skipping classes, taking longer routes
• Social withdrawal: losing friends, avoiding social situations
• Academic decline: grades dropping, trouble concentrating
• Mood changes: increased anxiety, irritability, sadness
• Sleep disturbances: nightmares, trouble falling asleep

Emotional Red Flags

• Low self-esteem: “I’m stupid,” “Nobody likes me”
• Hopelessness: talking about feeling trapped or helpless
• Fear responses: jumping at sudden noises, hyper-vigilance
• Regression: acting younger than their age
• Talk of self-harm: any mention of hurting themselves

Digital Signs (Cyberbullying)

• Avoiding devices: suddenly not wanting to use phone/computer
• Secretive online behavior: quickly closing screens when you approach
• Emotional reactions: upset after using devices
• Social media changes: deleting accounts, avoiding platforms
• Screenshot evidence: keeping photos of mean messages

📱 Understanding Cyberbullying Specifically

What Makes Cyberbullying Different

• 24/7 reach: harassment doesn’t stop when school ends
• Permanent evidence: screenshots can be shared repeatedly
• Anonymous attacks: bullies can hide their identity
• Viral potential: embarrassing content can spread rapidly
• Adult invisibility: often happens without adult awareness

Common Cyberbullying Tactics

• Public humiliation: embarrassing photos/videos shared
• Fake accounts: impersonating your child online
• Group harassment: multiple people targeting your child
• Exclusion campaigns: organizing others to ignore/block your child
• Threat escalation: online threats becoming real-world fears

⚡ Immediate Actions When You Discover Bullying

Step 1: Document Everything (Before Doing Anything Else)

Physical Bullying:

• Photograph injuries with dates and descriptions
• Keep damaged items as evidence
• Write detailed accounts of what your child tells you

Cyberbullying:

• Screenshot everything before it can be deleted
• Save URLs and timestamps
• Back up evidence to cloud storage
• Print copies of important evidence

All Bullying:

• Start a bullying diary with dates, times, witnesses, details
• Record your child’s emotional state after incidents
• Note impact on sleep, appetite, school performance

Step 2: Ensure Your Child’s Immediate Safety

• Listen without judgment: “I’m glad you told me. This is not your fault.”
• Reassure them: “We will handle this together. You did the right thing telling me.”
• Don’t promise quick fixes: Be honest that it may take time to resolve
• Assess immediate danger: If physical safety is at risk, consider keeping them home

Step 3: Get the Full Story (Gently)

Ask open-ended questions:

• “Can you tell me what’s been happening?”
• “How long has this been going on?”
• “Who else has witnessed this?”
• “How are you feeling about school?”

Avoid leading questions that might influence their answers

🏫 Working Effectively With Schools

Initial Contact Strategy

Option 1: Start With Teacher (For Mild Bullying)

• Email or call your child’s classroom teacher
• Request a meeting within 48 hours
• Bring documentation of incidents
• Stay solution-focused: “What can we do together to help my child?”

Option 2: Go Directly to Administration (For Serious Bullying)

• Contact the principal immediately
• Use urgent language: “My child is being bullied and I need immediate intervention”
• Request meeting within 24 hours for serious cases

Preparing for School Meetings

Bring With You:

• All documentation organized chronologically
• Written summary of key incidents
• Photos of injuries or damaged property
• Screenshots of cyberbullying
• Support person (partner, advocate, friend)

Your Goals for the Meeting:

• Get the school’s anti-bullying policy in writing
• Establish a clear action plan with timelines
• Agree on communication method for updates
• Set follow-up meeting date

What to Expect from the School

The School Should:

• Take your concerns seriously and respond promptly
• Investigate the incidents thoroughly and fairly
• Implement protective measures for your child
• Follow their anti-bullying policy procedures
• Provide regular updates on their actions
• Work with you to develop solutions

Red Flags - When School Response Is Inadequate

Warning Signs:

• Minimizing the problem: “Kids will be kids” or “It’s just teasing”
• Blaming your child: Suggesting they “provoked” the bullying
• No investigation: Not talking to witnesses or the bully
• Vague promises: “We’ll keep an eye on it” without specific actions
• Delayed response: Taking weeks to address serious incidents

⚖️ Your Legal Rights in Australia

School’s Duty of Care

Every Australian school has a legal obligation to:

• Provide a safe environment for all students
• Take reasonable steps to prevent bullying
• Respond appropriately when bullying occurs
• Follow their published anti-bullying policies
• Protect students from known risks

When Bullying May Be Illegal

Criminal Behavior Includes:

• Physical assault: any unwanted physical contact
• Threats of violence: verbal or written threats to harm
• Property damage: deliberate destruction of belongings
• Stalking behavior: persistent unwanted contact
• Serious cyberbullying: threats, humiliation, harassment

Discrimination Laws Apply When Bullying Targets:

• Race, ethnicity, or religion
• Gender identity or sexual orientation
• Disability or medical condition
• Family circumstances

Steps to Take Legal Action

1. Police Reports (When Appropriate):

• Physical assault or threats of violence
• Property damage over certain value
• Serious cyberbullying with threats
• Sexual harassment or assault

2. Formal Complaints:

• School education department (public schools)
• Independent school associations (private schools)
• Australian Human Rights Commission (discrimination)
• eSafety Commissioner (serious cyberbullying)

Free Legal Support

• Legal Aid: 1300 650 143 (each state has own service)
• Community Legal Centres: communitylegalcentres.net.au
• Legal Help Line: 1300 366 424

🛡️ Protecting Your Child While Issues Are Resolved

Safety Planning at School

Work with school to arrange:

• Supervised breaks: adult supervision during recess/lunch
• Buddy system: trusted friend to accompany your child
• Alternative routes: different paths between classes
• Safe spaces: place to go if feeling threatened
• Emergency contact: staff member child can approach anytime

Digital Safety Measures

• Block bullies on all social media platforms
• Adjust privacy settings to friends only
• Report cyberbullying to platform administrators
• Change passwords if accounts have been compromised
• Consider temporary social media break

Supporting Your Child Emotionally

• Maintain normal routines as much as possible
• Celebrate small victories and positive interactions
• Encourage friendships outside the bullying situation
• Focus on their strengths and accomplishments
• Be patient: healing takes time

🏥 When to Seek Professional Help

Mental Health Warning Signs

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness
• Anxiety about school or social situations
• Sleep problems or nightmares
• Eating changes (too much or too little)
• Academic decline despite trying
• Social withdrawal from family and friends
• Talk of self-harm or suicide

Professional Support Options

Through Medicare:

1. Visit your GP for Mental Health Care Plan
2. Up to 20 subsidized psychology sessions per year
3. Choose therapist experienced with bullying trauma
4. Family therapy may also be beneficial

Specialized Services:

• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (5-25 years, 24/7)
• headspace: 1800 650 890 (12-25 years)
• School counselor: free service at most schools
• Private psychologists: many bulk-bill Medicare plans

Crisis Support (24/7):

• Emergency: 000 (if immediate danger)
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

💪 Building Your Child’s Resilience

Social Skills Training

Help them develop:

• Assertiveness techniques: saying “stop” confidently
• Friendship skills: how to make and keep friends
• Conflict resolution: peaceful problem-solving
• Help-seeking behavior: knowing when and how to get adult help
• Bystander intervention: how to support others being bullied

Confidence Building Activities

• Sports or physical activities (builds physical and mental strength)
• Creative pursuits (art, music, writing for emotional expression)
• Community involvement (volunteering, clubs, groups)
• Skills development (coding, cooking, crafts - areas of mastery)
• Leadership opportunities (student council, mentoring younger kids)

Home Environment Support

• Create a safe emotional space for sharing
• Validate their feelings without trying to “fix” everything
• Celebrate their courage in telling you about the bullying
• Model problem-solving and resilience in your own life
• Maintain family traditions and positive experiences

🎯 Different Strategies for Different Types of Bullying

Physical Bullying Response

• Document injuries immediately with photos
• Report to school the same day
• Teach safety strategies: staying near adults, traveling in groups
• Consider self-defense classes (focus on escape, not fighting)
• Police report for serious physical harm

Verbal Bullying Response

• Role-play responses: practice confident replies
• Focus on emotional support: verbal attacks hurt deeply
• Work with school on bystander intervention
• Build friend networks: safety in numbers
• Professional counseling if self-esteem is severely affected

Social Bullying Response

• Expand social circles: activities outside school
• Focus on quality friendships: one good friend vs many acquaintances
• Address rumors directly: work with school to stop spread
• Build self-worth independent of peer acceptance
• Consider school change if social environment is toxic

Cyberbullying Response

• Immediate evidence collection: screenshots before blocking
• Report to platforms: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc.
• Report to eSafety Commissioner: esafety.gov.au/report
• School notification: even if it happened outside school
• Digital detox period: temporary break from social media

📞 Reporting Cyberbullying - Step by Step

Platform Reporting

Instagram/Facebook:

• Go to the post/message → three dots → Report
• Select “Bullying or harassment”
• Follow prompts to submit evidence

TikTok:

• Long press on content → Report
• Select “Bullying and harassment”
• Provide detailed description

Snapchat:

• Press and hold on content → Report
• Choose “Harassment or bullying”
• Screenshots automatically saved

eSafety Commissioner Reporting

When to report to eSafety:

• Serious cyberbullying with threats
• Platform hasn’t responded to your reports
• Multiple platforms being used to harass
• Content keeps reappearing after removal

How to report:

1. Visit: esafety.gov.au/report
2. Choose: “Cyberbullying” option
3. Provide: screenshots and detailed description
4. Include: evidence of reporting to platform first
5. Follow up: they respond within 48 hours

🌟 Success Stories and Positive Outcomes

Case Study 1: Persistent Physical Bullying

Situation: 12-year-old Sarah being pushed, tripped, and having lunch stolen daily
Parent Action: Documented everything, met with principal, demanded immediate action plan
School Response: Implemented supervised lunch breaks, assigned “buddy” system, disciplined bullies
Outcome: Bullying stopped within two weeks, Sarah’s confidence returned, made new friends

Case Study 2: Severe Cyberbullying Campaign

Situation: 15-year-old Jake targeted by group sharing embarrassing photos and cruel comments
Parent Action: Screenshots of all content, reported to school and platforms, contacted eSafety Commissioner
Resolution: All content removed, bullies faced suspension, Jake transferred to new school by choice
Long-term: Jake thrived at new school, developed online safety skills, now mentors other teens

Case Study 3: Social Exclusion and Rumors

Situation: 13-year-old Mia excluded from friend group, subject of vicious rumors
Parent Action: Focused on building new friendships through activities, worked with school counselor
Support: Family therapy helped communication, joined drama club and found new friend group
Growth: Mia developed stronger sense of self, became anti-bullying advocate at school

📋 Emergency Action Checklist

When You First Discover Bullying:

• Listen and document everything your child tells you
• Reassure your child it’s not their fault
• Take photos of any injuries or damage
• Screenshot cyberbullying evidence immediately
• Contact school within 24-48 hours
• Start bullying diary with dates and details

Preparing for School Meeting:

• Organize all documentation chronologically
• Write summary of key incidents
• Prepare list of specific requests/solutions
• Bring support person if helpful
• Review school’s anti-bullying policy
• Set clear goals for the meeting

If School Response Is Inadequate:

• Document their response (or lack thereof)
• Send follow-up email summarizing meeting
• Set firm deadline for action
• Contact higher authority (education department)
• Consider legal advice if necessary
• Explore school transfer options

Supporting Your Child:

• Regular check-ins about their feelings
• Monitor for depression/anxiety signs
• Encourage positive activities outside school
• Consider professional counseling
• Celebrate their bravery in speaking up
• Plan fun activities to maintain normalcy

📞 Essential Contacts and Resources

Crisis Support (24/7)

• Emergency (immediate danger): 000
• Kids Helpline (5-25 years): 1800 55 1800
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

Bullying-Specific Support

• Bullying No Way: bullyingnoway.gov.au
• eSafety Commissioner: esafety.gov.au
• Report cyberbullying: esafety.gov.au/report
• Safe Schools: safeschoolscoalition.org.au

Parent Support Lines (by State)

• Parentline NSW: 1300 1300 52
• Parentline VIC: 13 22 89
• Parentline QLD: 1300 301 300
• Parentline SA: 1300 364 100
• Parentline WA: 1800 654 432
• Parentline TAS: 1800 808 178

Legal Support

• Legal Aid Australia: 1300 650 143
• Community Legal Centres: communitylegalcentres.net.au
• Legal Help Line: 1300 366 424
• Australian Human Rights Commission: humanrights.gov.au

Mental Health Support

• Medicare Mental Health Line: 1800 61 44 34
• headspace: 1800 650 890 (12-25 years)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636
• Find a psychologist: psychology.org.au

🔄 Long-Term Recovery and Prevention

Healing Timeline Expectations

• Immediate safety: Should be achieved within days/weeks
• Emotional recovery: May take months, varies by child
• Confidence rebuilding: Gradual process over 6-12 months
• Trust in adults: Restored through consistent support
• Social relationships: New friendships can form with support

Ongoing Prevention Strategies

• Regular communication: Keep talking about school experiences
• Social skills reinforcement: Continue building interpersonal skills
• Digital citizenship: Teach responsible online behavior
• Bystander training: How to help others facing bullying
• Self-advocacy skills: Speaking up for themselves and others

When to Consider School Change

School change might be right if:

• School consistently fails to address the problem
• Bullying is widespread and cultural at the school
• Your child’s safety cannot be guaranteed
• Academic performance is severely impacted
• Your child requests a fresh start
• Social dynamics are irreparably damaged

💝 Remember: You Are Your Child’s Hero

Your child came to you because they trust you to help them. That trust is precious and powerful. While bullying is painful and can feel overwhelming, remember that most bullying situations can be resolved with persistent, informed advocacy. Your child will remember not just that you helped solve the problem, but that you believed them, fought for them, and never gave up.

You are not alone in this fight. Support is available, and you WILL get through this together.

Last Updated: Aug 2025 | Sources: eSafety Commissioner, Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, National Centre Against Bullying, Australian Human Rights Commission

This guide provides general strategies and information. Every bullying situation is unique. If you’re concerned about your child’s immediate safety or mental health, please seek professional support immediately.