Family & Carer Support Guide - When Your Child Needs Help

⚠️ Important Notice: This guide provides general information only and should not replace professional medical or psychological advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for your specific situation. Information is compiled from Australian health services and support organizations. Report errors or suggest improvements: [email protected]

🚨 Crisis Emergency Numbers - Save These Now

Life-Threatening Emergencies

• Emergency Services: 000 (Police, Fire, Ambulance)
• Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 (24/7)
• Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 (24/7 for ages 5-25)
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)

Specialized Crisis Support

• Butterfly National Helpline (Eating Disorders): 1800 334 673 (8am-midnight AEST)
• Headspace Crisis Support: eheadspace.org.au (9am-1am, 7 days)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 (24/7)
• 1800RESPECT (Family Violence): 1800 737 732 (24/7)

When You Don’t Know What to Do - Start Here

If Your Child Has an Eating Disorder

Immediate Steps (First 48 Hours)

1. Stay Calm: Your child needs you to be their anchor
2. Don’t Panic: Eating disorders are treatable with proper support
3. Call Your GP: Book an urgent appointment for assessment
4. Contact Butterfly Helpline: 1800 334 673 - they’ll guide you through next steps
5. Remove Triggers: Temporarily remove scales, diet books, and appearance-focused media

What to Say to Your Child

• “I’ve noticed some changes and I’m worried about you”
• “This isn’t your fault”
• “We’re going to get through this together”
• “I love you no matter what”

What NOT to Say

• Don’t comment on appearance or weight
• Don’t talk about diets or “good/bad” foods
• Don’t force them to eat in front of you
• Don’t blame yourself or them

Warning Signs You May Have Noticed

• Physical: Rapid weight loss/gain, frequent illness, dizziness, hair loss
• Behavioral: Avoiding meals, excessive exercise, mood swings around food
• Social: Withdrawing from activities, avoiding social eating
• Psychological: Obsession with appearance, depression, anxiety

The First Medical Appointment - Be Prepared

• Write down all concerning behaviors
• Note timeline of changes
• Bring growth charts if you have them
• Ask for comprehensive blood tests
• Request Mental Health Care Plan
• Get referral to specialist eating disorder service

Red Flags Requiring Hospital

• Heart rate below 50
• Fainting/dizziness
• Chest pain
• Refusing all food/water for 24+ hours
• Suicidal ideation

If Your Child is in Mental Health Crisis

Recognize the Emergency Signs

• Immediate danger: Threats of self-harm or suicide
• Severe behavioral changes: Aggression, complete withdrawal, not sleeping for days
• Psychotic symptoms: Hearing voices, extreme paranoia
• Substance overdose: Call 000 immediately

Crisis Response Protocol

1. Ensure Safety: Remove potential harm objects
2. Stay With Them: Never leave a child in crisis alone
3. Call for Help: 000 if immediate danger, otherwise crisis helplines
4. Go to Hospital: Emergency department if any doubt about safety
5. Document Everything: Write down symptoms, triggers, timeline

What Mental Health Conditions Look Like

Depression in Young People:

• Irritability more than sadness
• Withdrawing from friends/family
• Dropping grades
• Sleep changes (too much/little)
• “I hate myself” / “Nobody likes me”
• Self-harm behaviors

Anxiety in Children:

• Physical complaints (stomach aches, headaches)
• School refusal
• Excessive worry about parents’ safety
• Panic attacks
• Avoiding normal activities

State-by-State Crisis Resources

New South Wales

• NSW Mental Health Line: 1800 011 511 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Royal North Shore, Prince of Wales
• Child & Adolescent Services: Sydney Children’s Hospital Network

Victoria

• NURSE-ON-CALL: 1300 606 024 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne
• Child & Youth Services: Austin Health, Monash Health

Queensland

• 13HEALTH: 13 43 25 84 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Queensland Children’s Hospital
• Mental Health Services: Metro North, Metro South

Western Australia

• Mental Health Emergency Response Line: 1800 676 822 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Perth Children’s Hospital
• Child & Adolescent Services: Child and Adolescent Health Service

South Australia

• Mental Health Triage: 13 14 65 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Women’s and Children’s Hospital
• CAMHS: Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services

Tasmania

• Mental Health Services Helpline: 1800 332 388 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Royal Hobart Hospital
• Child Health Services: Tasmanian Health Service

ACT

• Canberra Hospital Mental Health Triage: (02) 6174 7614 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Canberra Hospital
• Child & Youth Services: ACT Health

Northern Territory

• Mental Health Line: 1800 682 288 (24/7)
• Emergency Department: Royal Darwin Hospital
• Child Health Services: NT Health

Getting Professional Help

Building Your Treatment Team

Essential Team Members

1. GP (General Practitioner): Your first point of contact and care coordinator
2. Psychologist/Psychiatrist: Mental health specialist for therapy and medication
3. Dietitian: Specialized in eating disorders (if relevant)
4. School Counselor: Educational support and accommodation planning

Step-by-Step Process

1. Start with GP

   • Ask for extended appointment
   • Request Mental Health Care Plan
   • Get referrals to child psychologist/psychiatrist

2. If GP Dismisses Concerns

   • Get second opinion
   • Go to children’s hospital emergency
   • Call Kids Helpline with your child: 1800 551 800

3. Finding Right Therapist

   • Ask about experience with your child’s age/issue
   • First 2-3 sessions are assessment
   • It’s okay to change if not working

How to Find the Right Professionals

• Psychology Today Australia: Find specialists in your area
• Australian Psychological Society: Referral service
• Butterfly Foundation: Eating disorder specialist directory
• Headspace Centers: Youth mental health services (12-25 years)

Medicare and Insurance Coverage

Medicare Benefits

• GP visits: Bulk-billed or gap payment
• Mental Health Care Plan: Up to 20 psychology sessions per year
• Psychiatrist consultations: Medicare rebates available
• Hospital treatment: Public hospitals free

Expected Costs

• Psychologist: $120-200 per session (Medicare rebates ~$89)
• Psychiatrist: $200-400 per session (Medicare rebates ~$174)
• Dietitian: $80-150 per session
• Residential treatment: $500-1,500 per day

Financial Assistance Options

• Centrelink: Crisis payment for family emergencies
• State mental health services: Free public services
• Charity organizations: Some provide financial assistance
• Payment plans: Many practitioners offer payment options

Eating Disorders: Complete Parent Guide

Understanding Different Types

Anorexia Nervosa

• Severe food restriction
• Intense fear of weight gain
• Body image distortion
• Physical complications: heart problems, bone loss

Bulimia Nervosa

• Binge eating followed by compensatory behaviors
• May maintain normal weight
• Secret behaviors around food
• Physical complications: dental problems, electrolyte imbalance

Binge Eating Disorder

• Regular episodes of overeating
• Feelings of shame and guilt
• No compensatory behaviors
• Physical complications: diabetes, heart disease

ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)

• Limited food intake not related to body image
• May be due to sensory issues, lack of interest in food
• Common in children with autism or ADHD

Supporting Recovery at Home

Meal Support Strategies

• Eat together as a family
• No diet talk at table
• Parents decide what, child decides how much
• Distraction during/after meals (games, TV)
• Sit with them for 30-60 minutes after eating

Creating a Supportive Home Environment

• Remove triggers: Scales, diet books, appearance-focused magazines
• Limit social media: Monitor accounts promoting eating disorders
• Focus shift: Emphasize health, strength, and energy over appearance
• Activities: Engage in non-food related bonding activities

Managing Your Own Emotions

• It’s normal to feel: Guilty, angry, scared, exhausted
• Your child’s ED will attack you too
• “That’s the eating disorder talking, not my child”
• Join parent support group

Recovery Process and Timeline

What to Expect

• Initial resistance: Your child may deny the problem or refuse help
• Slow progress: Recovery is not linear - expect setbacks
• Family impact: The whole family will need to adjust and learn
• Professional support: Regular therapy and medical monitoring required
• Long-term process: Full recovery can take months to years

Recovery Milestones

1. Medical stabilization (weeks 1-4)
2. Engaging with treatment (months 1-3)
3. Behavioral changes (months 3-6)
4. Psychological healing (months 6-12+)
5. Relapse prevention (ongoing)

Mental Health Crisis Management

Recognizing Different Types of Crises

Depression Crisis

• Signs: Can’t get out of bed, stopped caring for hygiene, talks about being worthless
• Response: Increase supervision, remove potential harm items, professional help immediately
• Don’t: Leave them alone, dismiss their feelings as “teenage drama”

Anxiety Crisis

• Signs: Panic attacks, unable to go to school, physical symptoms (nausea, headaches)
• Response: Calm environment, breathing exercises, validate their feelings
• Don’t: Tell them to “calm down” or “stop worrying”

Self-Harm Crisis

• Signs: Cuts, burns, or other injuries, wearing long sleeves in hot weather
• Response: Address immediately with professional help, ensure safety
• Don’t: Ignore it hoping it will stop, take away items without addressing underlying issues

De-escalation Techniques

When Your Child is in Crisis

1. Stay Calm: Your energy affects theirs
2. Lower your voice: Speak slowly and clearly
3. Give space: Don’t crowd them physically
4. Listen actively: Let them express their feelings
5. Validate emotions: “I can see you’re really upset”
6. Offer choices: “Would you like to talk here or in your room?”
7. Remove audience: Send siblings away if present

Crisis Safety Planning

When Your Child is Suicidal:

Immediate Safety:

• Never leave them alone
• Remove means (medications, sharp objects)
• Take all threats seriously
• Go to emergency department
• Call 000 if immediate danger

What to Say:

• “I’m here for you”
• “Let’s get some help together”
• “You matter to me”
• “This feeling will pass”

After a Suicide Attempt:

• Follow safety plan religiously
• Attend all appointments
• Family therapy is crucial
• Siblings need support too
• Your own therapy is important

🎓 When Your Child is Being Bullied

Recognizing Bullying

Warning Signs:

• Unexplained injuries
• Lost or destroyed belongings
• Frequent illness to avoid school
• Changes in eating/sleeping
• Dropping grades
• Loss of friends
• Self-destructive behaviors

Taking Action

Document Everything:

• Dates, times, places
• Names of witnesses
• Screenshots of cyberbullying
• Physical evidence (torn clothes, bruises)
• Keep communication with school in writing

School Approach (In Order):

1. Classroom Teacher

   • First point of contact
   • Request meeting in writing
   • Bring documentation

2. Year Coordinator/Welfare Officer

   • If teacher doesn’t act
   • Request anti-bullying policy
   • Ask for action plan

3. Principal

   • Formal complaint in writing
   • Request response timeline
   • Mention duty of care

4. Department of Education

   • If school won’t act
   • Regional office complaint
   • Each state has process

Cyberbullying Response

Immediate Actions:

• Don’t respond to messages
• Screenshot everything
• Block on all platforms
• Report to platform
• Report to eSafety Commissioner

eSafety Commissioner: esafety.gov.au

• Can order content removal
• Can issue warnings
• Provides evidence packages

Supporting Your Child

Building Resilience:

• Validate their feelings
• It’s not their fault
• Role-play responses
• Build confidence in other areas
• Connect with supportive friends
• Consider martial arts/drama for confidence

👥 Supporting Child with Disability/Special Needs

Diagnosis Journey

Getting Assessment:

• Developmental pediatrician referral
• Long wait lists (go on multiple)
• Private vs public options
• NDIS requires diagnosis
• School support needs documentation

Processing Diagnosis:

• Grief is normal
• Your child is still the same
• Diagnosis = access to support
• Connect with other parents
• Focus on strengths too

NDIS Navigation

Getting NDIS Support:

• NDIS Helpline: 1800 800 110
• Early Childhood Early Intervention (under 7)
• Gather all reports and assessments
• Local Area Coordinator helps apply
• Appeal if rejected

Using NDIS Funding:

• Core supports (daily activities)
• Capacity building (therapy)
• Capital supports (equipment)
• Plan reviews annually
• Support coordinator can help

School Support

Educational Adjustments:

• Individual Education Plan (IEP)
• Teacher aide support
• Modified curriculum
• Assistive technology
• Quiet space access
• Exam adjustments

Your Rights:

• Disability Discrimination Act protects
• School must make reasonable adjustments
• Can’t refuse enrollment
• Advocate through state education department

💔 When Your Adult Child Has Problems

Addiction Issues

How to Help:

• Learn about addiction as disease
• Set boundaries (don’t enable)
• Al-Anon/Nar-Anon for families
• Can’t force recovery
• Protect yourself financially
• Keep loving, stop rescuing

Family Support Services:

• Family Drug Support: 1300 368 186
• Al-Anon: 1300 252 666
• DirectLine (VIC): 1800 888 236

Mental Health in Adults

When They Won’t Get Help:

• Can’t force treatment (unless immediate danger)
• Model good mental health
• Provide information
• Set boundaries
• “I love you AND I can’t watch you suffer”
• Consider family therapy alone

Crisis Intervention:

• If danger to self/others, call 000
• Mental Health Crisis Team assessment
• Involuntary admission is last resort
• Stay involved in treatment if they allow

Supporting Siblings

How Siblings Are Affected

• Feel forgotten or less important
• Scared and confused
• Angry at sick sibling
• Guilty for being healthy
• Acting out for attention

How to Help Siblings

• One-on-one time (even 15 minutes)
• Age-appropriate explanation
• “It’s not your fault”
• Their feelings are valid
• Consider sibling support groups

🫂 Caring for Yourself

Recognizing Carer Burnout

Warning Signs:

• Exhausted all the time
• Resentful of loved one
• Isolated from friends
• Health problems increasing
• Using alcohol/drugs to cope
• Feeling hopeless

Self-Care Strategies

Daily Survival:

• 5 minutes meditation
• Walk around block
• Call one friend
• Eat proper meal
• Go to bed on time
• Say no to something

Weekly Relief:

• Respite care
• Support group
• Own therapy session
• Exercise class
• Coffee with friend
• Hobby time

Support Services for Carers

Carer Support:

• Carer Gateway: 1800 422 737
  • 6 free counselling sessions
  • Respite services
  • Peer support groups
  • Emergency respite
• Carers Australia: carersaustralia.com.au
• Young Carers: youngcarers.com.au

Financial Support:

• Carer Payment (income support)
• Carer Allowance (supplement)
• Carer Supplement (annual)
• Mental Health Carer Support

School and Educational Support

Working with Schools

Communicating with Teachers

• Initial meeting: Explain your child’s situation confidentially
• Create a plan: Work together on accommodations and support
• Regular check-ins: Stay in touch about progress and challenges
• Advocate firmly: Your child’s education is important, but so is their health

School Accommodations

• Flexible attendance: For medical appointments
• Modified assignments: During acute phases of illness
• Safe spaces: Where your child can go when overwhelmed
• Meal supervision: For eating disorder support
• Counselor check-ins: Regular support at school

Educational Rights

• Disability standards: Mental health conditions can qualify for support
• Individual education plans: Formal accommodations
• Home schooling: Temporary option during acute phases
• Alternative schools: Specialized programs for students with mental health needs

Long-term Recovery and Prevention

Building Resilience

Family Resilience Factors

• Strong relationships: Maintain connection and communication
• Flexible problem-solving: Adapt strategies as situations change
• Realistic expectations: Recovery takes time and isn’t always linear
• Hope and optimism: Believe in your child’s ability to recover
• Professional support: Maintain relationship with treatment team

Teaching Coping Skills

• Emotional regulation: Help your child identify and express feelings
• Stress management: Healthy ways to handle pressure
• Problem-solving: Break down challenges into manageable steps
• Social skills: Maintain friendships and social connections
• Self-advocacy: Teach your child to speak up for their needs

Prevention Strategies

• Early intervention: Address problems before they become crises
• Mental health literacy: Teach about emotions and mental health
• Healthy lifestyle: Regular sleep, exercise, and nutrition
• Stress reduction: Manage academic and social pressures
• Open communication: Create safe spaces for difficult conversations

What Recovery Looks Like

It’s Not Linear:

• Good days and bad days
• Relapses happen
• Small steps count
• Different for everyone
• Takes longer than expected
• Worth the journey

Celebrating Small Wins

Notice Progress:

• Attended appointment
• Took medication
• Got out of bed
• Ate a meal
• Talked to friend
• Smiled today

Important Resources and Contacts

Crisis Contacts for Families

24/7 Support:

• Parentline (NSW): 1300 1300 52
• Parentline (VIC): 13 22 89
• Parent Helpline (SA): 1300 364 100
• Family Helpline (TAS): 1300 808 178

National Organizations

Mental Health

• Headspace: headspace.org.au - Youth mental health
• Beyond Blue: beyondblue.org.au - Depression and anxiety
• Black Dog Institute: blackdoginstitute.org.au - Mental health research
• SANE Australia: sane.org - Mental illness support

Eating Disorders

• Butterfly Foundation: butterfly.org.au - National eating disorder organization
• EDFA (Eating Disorders Families Australia): eatingdisordersfamiliesaustralia.org.au
• FEAST (International): feast-ed.org - Evidence-based family resources
• National Eating Disorders Collaboration: nedc.com.au
• Centre for Eating and Dieting Disorders: cedd.org.au

Crisis Support

• Lifeline: lifeline.org.au
• Kids Helpline: kidshelpline.com.au
• Suicide Call Back Service: suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Online Resources

Websites:

• ReachOut Parents: parents.au.reachout.com
• Raising Children Network: raisingchildren.net.au
• Beyond Blue Families: beyondblue.org.au/family
• Headspace Families: headspace.org.au/family

Support Groups

Finding Support Groups:

• Ask hospital social worker
• Council community centers
• Facebook support groups
• Diagnosis-specific organizations
• Meetup.com
• Local churches/mosques/temples

Parent Support Groups

• Family and Friends for Mental Health: familyandfriends.com.au
• ARAFMI (Relatives and Friends of the Mentally Ill): State-based organizations
• Facebook groups: Search for your specific condition + “parents Australia”

Financial and Practical Support

• Centrelink Crisis Payment: servicesaustralia.gov.au
• Australian Government Department of Health: health.gov.au
• National Disability Insurance Scheme: ndis.gov.au

Helpful Books

• “Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder” - Lock & Le Grange
• “Skills-based Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder” - Treasure

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I know if my child’s behavior is “normal teenage stuff” or a mental health issue?

A: Trust your instincts. If behaviors persist for weeks, interfere with daily functioning, or you’re genuinely worried, seek professional assessment. It’s better to check and find everything is okay than to wait and risk missing something serious.

Q: My child refuses to get help. What can I do?

A: Start with your own research and support. Consider family therapy where your child doesn’t have to be the “identified patient.” Sometimes children will engage when they see parents are also working on family dynamics.

Q: How much does treatment cost and what’s covered by Medicare?

A: GP visits and up to 20 psychology sessions per year are covered by Medicare. Psychiatrist consultations have partial Medicare rebates. Private costs vary but expect $100-200 per psychology session with Medicare rebates of around $89.

Q: Should I tell the school about my child’s mental health issues?

A: Generally yes, at least to key staff. Schools can provide support and accommodations, but you control who knows and what information is shared. Consider speaking with the school counselor or wellbeing coordinator first.

Q: How long does recovery take?

A: Recovery timelines vary greatly. Acute symptoms may stabilize within weeks to months, but full recovery often takes longer. Focus on progress, not perfection, and celebrate small victories along the way.

Q: What if I can’t afford private treatment?

A: Public mental health services are available in every state. Headspace centers provide free or low-cost services for young people. Many psychologists offer sliding scale fees, and some charities provide financial assistance for treatment.

Emergency Reminder: If your child is in immediate danger, call 000. If you’re unsure whether it’s an emergency, err on the side of caution and seek immediate help.

Remember: You’re not alone in this journey. Thousands of Australian families face similar challenges, and with proper support, recovery is possible. Your love and persistence make a difference, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

This guide provides general information and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers about your child’s specific situation.

Last Updated: September 2025 | Sources: Australian Government Department of Health, Butterfly Foundation, Headspace, Beyond Blue, Lifeline, Kids Helpline